Monday, March 21, 2011

Part 3 in the Fanny Pack Trilogy

Here it is ladies and gentleman.  The final fanny pack opinion from our final Opinionater.  I won't re-post the pics that sparked the debate, you can check them out in the previous two fanny pack posts, but I will weigh in with my opinion after this:

The Shoe Lover:
Fanny packs--High Fashion or Cry for Help?

I love the Amazing Race and would love to be racing around the world on someone else's dime trying to find clues and generally just seeing some of the sights. That I don't think I have a friend or relative I wouldn't kill before the end of the trip has deterred me from applying. That--and the fanny packs. I mean--come on people. How short our memories are when it comes to fashion. The fanny pack was not created as a fashion accessory it was on of those practical items that fashion designers shuddered at the sight of. Let's face it. Practical has no place on the runway. Perhaps this is a move to 'bulk up' the models without actually allowing them to eat? My rubenesque frame which has for the moment gone out of fashion would not look stylish with a fanny pack wrapped around the largest part of it and I think many women would agree with me. Besides, how can I wear a fanny pack when my jeans sit half way down my fanny--it would cover the crack!

Me - Green Man Girl
  The general consensus seems to be that fanny packs are unsightly, unfashionable, somewhat useful, but generally frowned upon.  So what's a girl to do?  A few years back I came across a beautiful belted purse.  Black suede, a nice compact size, and with a fringe that hung to just below the knee.  It was perfect!  Gucci had just shown all those amazing fringed boots on the runway(Fall RTW 2008)(which I still lust after), and this was the next best thing.

I had the convenience of the pouch on my hip to carry my cards etc, and the added bonus of a swishing fringe with every step I took.  First stop - the dance floor.  In theory the fanny pack is perfect for a night on the town.  Hands free.  None of the worries usually associated with keeping your purse safe, and no over stuffed pockets.  But in reality, it just didn't work.  The first half of the night was fine. The fringe lived up to it's full potential on the dance floor,  my cash was conveniently at hand all night, but then I had a few drinks.  And every time I went to the bathroom the fanny pack threatened to dunk itself in the toilet. I tried it out on a few other daytime(read: sober) occasions, but the magic was gone.  My fanny pack was making me self conscious.
Regardless of my experience, I love the new fanny packs.  They remind me of the little brown change purse on my brownie uniform.  And I'm kind of regretting parting with my beautiful black fringed pouch.  Maybe I should have given it another chance?  Maybe I should have just waited a season or two until the fashion world caught up with me?  Somewhere out there my fanny pack has a new owner, and to them I say  take advantage of this fickle fashion season to flaunt it.  But if it makes you feel the least bit awkward or uncomfortable, I'll take it off your hands for you.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

The New fanny Pack - Part 2

So, the fanny pack debate rages on.  Today a few words from a second opinionater, he muses on the fanny pack abroad, and what it says about the American... I mean wearer.

Before we begin I once more present to you the fanny pack from the Spring Summer runways of 2011:


Hermes, Pucci, Furstenburg
For larger  views and to read The Comedian's take on this accessory see my previous post.

The Skate-Boarder
Firstly I want to say that The Amazing Race is the greatest human endeavor since the moon missions { which were pointless and looked bad on tv }. It is the only show I watch besides Canada's Next Top Model. I believe Bruckheimer deserves at least the Nobel Peace Prize and have started a Twitter campaign to get Flight Time and Big Easy elected for President and Secretary of State.

That aside, the fanny pack is an aberration. Where I am from, it is called The Bum Bag and is basically the same as wearing a t-shirt saying "I am American. I want robbed and you don't even have to speak to me. If you want a two year old Sony Cybershot with 400 pictures of my sweaty wife at Edinburg castle, my passport, a AMEX Platinum card, two Travelodge room keys, about 600 pounds in cash and a chapstick just take this".

Regarding the items above, the first is a cheat. Of course an extremely attractive purse attached to a rather attractive belt is going to look good.

The second has it down pretty tight. Ugly as sin, awkward and almost certainly forces you to do a weird dance every time your get a text message. A real purse strap grants a certain amount of leverage. The wearer can hold the purse in whichever position suits. The bum bag however demeans the wearer by making them assume unnatural postures and wrist movements in order to dredge it's foul depths. Seriously, spend a day with your Malboro Lights and car keys down the front of your underwear and see how convenient it is getting to them.

Three: Fucking matching gloves? Genius. I may even drag my Disneyland fanny pack out from my pre-teen attic box and see if I can scrape up a pair of Mickey mitts.

The whole native American vibe is cool. "Is that a fanny pack?" "Yeah. It is. I keep the scalps of people who ask me dumb questions in it. Do you like it?"

I think when it comes to fanny packs the whole point is to exude some kind of irony. To take fanny packs seriously is like faking a mission to the moon. No one would have cared even if you'd done it for real. When it comes to fanny packs, remember the following; some places you go, a fanny may not be a bum and if you have to wear one, don't be fancy. Just go Napoleon Dynamite or go home.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Opinionaters - the extended version

I sent out 3 pics to my opinionaters this week, and I've received such well, opinionated answers from them all that I decided each deserves his or her own post(or maybe 'm just being lazy and this is my way of feeling productive- 3 posts in 1 week!).  To begin, the trend we looked at this time around: The Fanny Pack!  Spotted on several of the S/S 2011 runways, a more modernized version of the classic seen here:
  So the challenge issued:
The trend I'm looking at right now is the return of the fanny pack.  I have to ask: Is the return of the fanny pack at least partially due to the use of fanny packs in The Amazing Race?
Jaeger -belt purse(call it what you will, it's a fanny pack).
Jaeger again.
Hermes, Pucci, Furstenburg(Jaeger is in good company).
My first reply came from The Comedian, an honest reflection on the fanny pack resurgence, and how to fit it in to the average wardrobe.

The Comedian:
To me, fanny packs are to fashion what granny underpants are to lingerie: God-Awful to see on someone else, but when you're the wearer, oh so comfortable and practical.  This, of course, is something of an assumption on my part, as I'm a guy and have never actually worn granny underpants.  But there are websites that give me a good idea of what it would be like, and I have stolen a few pairs off an elderly neighbour's clothesline when I was a teenager, so I think I can speak with some authority.
I have had, for quite some time, three fashion-wishes that I've been praying will someday come true:  1) that men can start wearing blouses, 2) fashion-acceptable footwear would come along that equals the comfort of the shunned Crock, and 3) fanny packs once again become popular and functionally fashionable for both sexes.  

So, for you to imply that there may be a return of the fanny pack makes my heart all a-quiver with anticipatory glee.  My only worry is that fanny packs become too fashionable and I'll feel they are outside my conservative fashion-bracket.  I'd also be worried that by wearing something so fashionable, I'd be snuffing out the last glimmer of a punk rocker attitude I maybe once had, well-before punk itself was such a haute coutoure fashion genre.  Actually, my last glimmer of punk rocker attitude finds it hard to imagine myself wearing a fanny pack, regardless of its standing in the fashion world.
Upon reflection, unless I take a stand and just start dressing the way I want (a return to the punk ethos), or become a slave to fashion, I think I am currently neither too cool nor not cool enough to wear a fanny pack.  Either result, I'll still, sadly, need a place to put my keys and cellphone this summer.

On to the photos:
They are all great attempts to make granny underpants look sexy, but I can't get past the fact that even these finely-designed and lovely looking articles of convenience can not stop me remembering myself in the 1990's, decked out with an ugly yet utilitarian black faux-leather fanny pack from Shopper's Drug Mart strapped around my midriff.  What did we ever see in you, cheap ugly fanny pack?

Does Amazing Race have anything to do with a trending return of the fanny pack?  I have noticed that the phrase "fanny pack" is being said more this year in the show than ever before, but I find it hard to believe that The Amazing Race is, in any way, at the forefront of any fashion trend, other than maybe a resurgence in the popularity of t-shirts that say "Harlem Globetrotters".

Kelly, any manly-looking XXL blouses on sale at The Green Man?  I might just have to grant myself a wish and start my own fashion trend.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Fashion Illustrator Sabrina Garrasi

I love fashion illustration.  And I love illustrators who blend technology with more traditional forms of illustration.

                                                               I love Sabrina Garrasi.

See her full portfolio here:

Monday, March 7, 2011

The Search is on...

I have been combing the internet for attractive maternity wear, and in particular a bathing suit.  And  my research has led me to one conclusion - attractive maternity wear just does not exist - in particular maternity bathing suits.  So, I've left maternity wear behind, and have headed in a new direction Emilio Pucci s/s 2011.   I mean why not? 

So for day to day running around there's this:
Perfect for my growing bump.
And for the beach I'm all about exposure, and so is Pucci:
Pregnant? Who cares, this suit will not interfere.

This for me though was the show stopper from his 2011 show:
I may have to wait until after the baby is born before I pull it out of the closet though.  But as soon as it fits I'll know I 'm ready for this:
  I say a month after delivery and I should be good to go.  Right?